The History of the BBS User

Part V

The courtroom is filled with credit card frauders and phreakers, much to the SysOp's dismay because it makes him look bad. The only thing that keeps going through his mind (driving him nuts) is "Good morning, the worm, your honor." He wishes he had a shotgun so he could shoot the kid. He does, however, have his shoehorn.

Prosecutor:

Mr. SysOp, you have a user on your BBS system named Joe Blow, is this correct.

SysOp:

No, I used to, but I locked the little shit out.

Defense:

Objection your honor, he's a little prick, not a little shit.

Judge:

Sustained. Mr. SysOp, I will kindly ask you to keep your answers truthful.

[ Welcome to hell. How DO you like it??????? ]

Kid:

I'm not either of those things!

Judge, Prosecutor, Defense, SysOp in unison:

YES YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!

[ the kid shuts up ]

Kid:

He sells stolen credit cards!

Judge:

Is this true, Mr. SysOp?

SysOp:

Absolutely not! The kid's a liar!

Prosecutor:

Your honor, we would like a recess to build a case against Mr. SysOp.

SysOp:

WHAT? You're going to believe this little fucker?

Defense:

OBJECTION!

Judge:

Sustained! The court has already established that the little fucker is a little prick.

Defense:

Your honor, we move for a mistrial!

Judge: Fuck you, this court is in recess.

[ The trial drags on and the kid's parents are finded copious amounts]

[ of money, and the SysOp goes to jail for credit card fraud because ]

[ the kid couldn't think of anything else to say about the SysOp to ]

[ save his ass. ]

Epilogue

The kid went to hell, where all little leeches eventually go. His sister went to hell too, and sold shoehorns for a living.

The Moral

SysOps:

THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU! Don't let nine-year-olds on your BBSes! Ban the little leech!