The History of the BBS User

Part III

[ About a month later, the kid calls the board under an assumed name ]

[ By assumed name, I mean that the SysOp can do nothing but assume ]

[ that it's the little leech. ]

Dear SysOp:

I am a new user and would like lots of access so I can upload and download. I don't use message bases because I think they're stupid.

Joe Blow

[ the kid realizes his mistake in putting his real name and tries in ]

[ vain to use the message editor so he can remove his name and put ]

[ in his alias ]

[ He fails miserably and winds up with: ]

Joe Blow Assumed Name How the Hell???? NO CARRIER

W      d
 h    i I   ?
  a  d     o
   t      d

Dear Joe:

You haven't learned anything in the past two years have you. You're an asshole. If you have a dog, I hope it dies.

Fuck you.

Dear SysOp:

What do you mean? I am a new modem user. I have never called a BBS before.

Assumed Name.

Dear Assumed/Joe/Whatthefuckeveryournameis:

You're a little liar. Go to hell and don't ever call here again or I'll rape your sister.

Eat me.

Dear SysOp:

My sister's only 5 years old.

[ SysOp breaks into chat ]

The SysOp is here!

That's all the better. I'll bring my shoehorn!!!

[ Line noise, SysOp is screaming into phone with the wind of the big ]

[ bad wolf ]

NO CARRIER